Helping Real Men Find Real Love -- No Games, No Tricks, No Bullshit

Do Naturals Interpret? Refering to the book "The Power of Now"

James — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 03:11:52 GMT

Hey guys!

I've begun reading "The Power of Now - A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment" by Eckhart Tolle"
I recommend people to read it. Very inspiring!

From what I've read you should not "think", you are more than your mind.

But, if you should not think, how can you like tease a girl with something like, the worst case scenario or the best case scenario, of something about her?

I mean, I've tried recently past days to remain calm and just stop thinking and observe my mind, but it's like I automaticlly get more unsocial. It's like I'm very comfort (maybe too comfort and confident in front of other).

I get a lot more grounded and when talking to someone, when I want to, I get their attention very well. I'm just not bringing a lot of energy when meeting/seeing another person, but more likely calm and confident (which I feel, that sometimes it's too confident and it's a bit an asshole behaviour ).

Maybe it's because in the past I've tried to get something from people (unconsciously) when seeing/meeting someone? That this is a new thing for me, so I just have to keep it going, to get my body used to it?

I must admit that I do forget to smile (just a little smile ) sometimes, when I'm just looking around and focusing on my breath.

What do you great guys think? Have you experienced this yourself once?

The best,
- James

Forum: Ask Anything

I have a mancrush on Micheal Buble

naranja — Sat, 07 Nov 2009 02:29:08 GMT

Don't worry Sean, it doesn't mean I love you any less
Seriously, I love this guy's music and songs. I am rather eclectic when it comes to music, but he's definitely one of my favorites and always listen to him when I want to relax after a long day. From what I've seen on T.V and interviews he's funny, charming and witty, which I can relate to I'm really just a fan and have a normal man crush...

Forum: Confessions

Supercharge your opener with this ONE trick...

seanmessenger — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 14:22:02 GMT

Here it is. The secret to talk to anyone, anywhere, anytime, and actually ENJOY it:

from: http://www.happiness-project.com/happiness_project/2008/02/my-new-strategy.html

Quote:

I started a strategy that I call the Youre my friend from camp! technique. When I meet someone, I try to imagine that he or she is a long-last pal from summer camp. Even though I dont really fool myself, it makes my tone and attitude warmer. My smile is sincere, instead of a perfunctory grimace. I honestly feel more friendly.

And not only does this strategy make me feel more friendly to that person, it also makes that person feel more friendly in return.

Thats because we tend to like people who like us.

This just happened to me. Theres a woman I encounter regularly whom Id describe as an acquaintance. When I came back from winter vacation, she was suddenly much friendlier to me. In return, I felt much more friendly towards her even though nothing had changed.

In a nutshell: by acting friendly, we make ourselves feel more friendly, and as a consequence, others respond in a friendly way. Science backs this up. A study found that when volunteers were asked to treat subjects as if they liked them, these volunteers did indeed end up genuinely liking those people -- and the subjects, too, liked the volunteers better.

Forum: Other Topics

Work in Libya for a year?

Marco — Fri, 06 Nov 2009 03:47:12 GMT

So I have an opportunity to work in Libya for a year.

Advantages:

Opportunity to really make a huge difference for an entire country. I hear they lack infrastructure badly. It'll feel great helping build some of the first highways in the country. What a thought!

30 minutes away from Italy. Exploring Europe is one of the things in my bucket list. I'll get 30 days of paid time off, so I think I'll actually get to enjoy this instead of the measly 2 weeks I get now.

Food and housing paid for. So I get to save or spend everything I make which will be a raise from what I get now.

Disadvantages:

Lack of women to flirt with? This is just a guess based on them not having bars since alcohol is illegal. I may have to live in social isolation for most of the time I'm there.

Any thoughts/advice?

Forum: Ask Anything

Social status is killing me

EAZy — Thur, 05 Nov 2009 21:58:29 GMT

I think we all agree social status is an important thing in university.My problem is I don't give a shit about this.

When school year started I had two friends of high school I was just hanging out with and I was absolutly fine with that.I had other friends outside of school so I was alright.

Now things changed,those 2 friends changed school and my mentality changed since then(not because of those 2 friends but things in my life changed).I have things I'm working on and I don't go to university a lot because I study more at home.(also nothing to do with those friends).
I'm not really into making new friends now,I'm just bussy with my shit now and when I want to do something I have my friends outside of school.

This results in me not knowing people there,well I know some guys but just talk to them when I see them.

But I start to see some people I don't know trying to play 'alpha male' or how do you say that.Well I don't mean bullying,absolutely not but just playing though guys.You know most of these guys are what you would call a nerd,and they are just trying to feel better about themselves I know.

Again nobody said something to me,but I can sense this I don't know why.But for example yesterday 2 guys,I sat next to,I could sense they were hostile by the way they were looking.
Or another guys or should I say some insecure pussy,while we were going to buy some school books,he tries to pass before me.He was with his 5-6friends of course but was extremely uncomfortable when I looked at him straight in the face after he did.

Ok maybe I am paranoid.

Btw I'm probably one of the youngest at school(cuz I'm a year ahead,not because I'm supersmart but because I started school earlier) so most guys are 1-2 or even 3 years older than me.So maybe it is just me getting insecure about my 'body',I don't mean ugly but I mean skinny and looking like a kid.But I'm not sure.

Forum: College/University

Confession: I'm awesome, and Sean Messenger is to blame.

boweja — Thur, 05 Nov 2009 03:35:49 GMT

Warning: This post is written by a long-winded, pretentious awesomeface. Expect lots of words and win.

It's been over a year since I've posted here. It was a pretty stupid post. I was overexcited about a girl I'd hooked up with, the first in about a year and a half of bullshit head games that came with trying to be ultra religious and eventually becoming a nonbelieving heathen. When I lost my faith, I immediately jumped on the 'morality is silly, life is about survival of the fittest, etc, etc' bandwagon. It ate me up. I hated it. I hated the person it made me. Around this time I got involved in pickup, and it got me some action, but nothing that made me really happy. Not one thing -- though I would have said different at the time. I more or less gave up on it, then got an invite to this forum by none other than Sean. I purchased of few tidbits of wisdom from him, and within about 2 weeks, started dating a girl I actually wanted. I recall really resonating with the idea that yeah, being a man means not letting insecurities overcome you, or any bullshit like that, but that you could, in fact, want, love, or need someone without it being the end of the world. Life is about what you want it to be about. That was enough to help me come into my won -- as a result, the last 18 months have been a journey of self-discovery and understanding.

In that time, I've learned a *lot*. A lot of it was actualization of things I'd already known for some time -- that I fucking love to cuddle, that cold approaches are fucking unnatural, that fun is paramount, that calculus in the morning makes my balls unhappy, and that I fucking love life. Also that the word 'fuck' makes my life better.

My life now is pretty sweet. In the last week, it has come to my attention that I'm awesome. Here are the woman-related reasons for this realization:

1. Using 'direct game', no lies, bullshit, or strategies, I met a girl through friends, went out with her the next day, brought her home, and unintentionally ended up making out on my couch with her half naked for several hours. And I just wanted to play video games. I'm actually kind of disappointed we didn't play video games. Two days later, she ended up hooking up with someone else, which was surprising, and actually bothered me for a couple of days -- mostly because it was sudden and things seemed to be going damned well. However, I am now pretty much unfazed. Such is life. Enjoy it.

2. On the same day I discovered this, I got quite intoxicated (unrelated) and ended up fondling a long-standing woman friend of mine. She later informed me the only reason it made her even remotely uncomfortable is because I almost pushed her into a burning stove. And she keeps hinting she wants to give me a blowjob.

3. The woman I hooked up with all those months ago, who recently moved away, got into contact with me. We talked, confessed we were still crazy about each other, and would like to move together in the future -- and spend our lives together blissfully and commitment-free.

4. Some cute asian chick was totally checking me out from across the street. She saw the awesome. I bet she was awesome.

This was a particularly good week, but not a one-time occurrance. After cultivating many positive habits and outlooks, this is just what my life is like now.

All of this, and I realize I'm perfectly happy without women except when they stir the pot, or go around and start being obnoxiously adorable in front of me.

Forum: Confessions

Sex drive gone up now what :-)

Kevin2008 — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 17:03:07 GMT

I have been working out more recently and jogging on a daily basis together
with ensuring i get my daily dose of zinc and multi vitamins. Which seems
to have enhanced my sex drive and i get horny very quickly. Now i dont have
a girlfriend at present to make love to. I mean i guess when i feel like
i am going to explode like a volcanic eruption. I mean masturbation is
certainly an option. How do you guys control this "excessive energy".

Before anyone says well get laid well i am working on that aspect of my life.

I read somewhere that Taoists perform certain exercises to circulate the
excessive energies to other areas of the body.

Forum: Ask Anything

I feel like telling her I'm an idiot

the_chazz — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 16:13:48 GMT

after sending eachother messages back and forth, giving eachother IOI's like crazy all the time, all of a sudden she just flippin STOPPED getting back at me. I'm crazy in love, dude! This is like a month and a half ago when I last sent her a message and she didn't get back to me. Yesterday night I called her left a voice message all nervous with my voice cracking (while naturally I have like nice resonant booming voice). Still nothing back.

So yes I feel like telling her i'm an idiot but I won't, because of course it's pretty negative and the humor doesn't really come across in a text message. But still, I wanna tell her. Hey I would really love to hear from you. I know, maybe I don't get the hint and I'm an idiot because of it. But I would LOVE to hear from you. GOD! Talk to me!

I want her to tell me no if it's a no. I also want to not give up before she says no, or an answer for that matter, without stalking her. I can take the no. It's gonna be ugly, but that's fine. My heart now is swollen, and needs to explode with either joy or tears. Either way is a step forward in the long run. But this, what is this?

goddamnit

Forum: Confessions

It went too fast for her...

ledAstray — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 21:21:38 GMT

OK, I'll be quick this time, I swear!

We went out, everything went great, but also quite fast. We met three times and I kissed her/slept with her on the third date.

Now she feels like it went too fast. She refused to pickup the phone and chatted me up on Facebook Chat instead. She's acting very distant and says she doesn't have a clue what to think. We're going to meet tomorrow, Wednesday, in a group setting but she doesn't want to make it official and act like a couple. She said she needs to think.

I agree with her, but I certainly don't have a clue what to do. And I don't want to screw things up!

She wants space, OK. Does that mean I back the fuck off until she is ready? Does she need assurance? I tried to follow your advice Sean and not call her first. We went separate ways on Sunday, but I couldn't resist and texted her Tuesday afternoon and called her in the evening.

I know there's no surefire way to fix problems, but what would you do? I made myself vulnerable to her and I do have feelings for her now. So forgetting about her and moving on is NOT an option for me right now!

Thanks for your input.

Forum: Ask Anything

I think I'm getting there

PillowFire — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 01:47:11 GMT

So, if you guy's remember I posted about the smallest of problems and my every encounter in tons of detail. I decided after my last thread about a girl on the bus to just stop and see where I can go on my own. Since then, I had gotten a strange set of messages from an unknown number after school. Somewhat sexual and also a bit creepy because I had no clue who it was. It eventually turned out to be a girl named Amber. I don't really remember her and to this day do not know how she got my number. Since then though, we kicked off great. Been making out in the hallways during lunch every other day and I've been getting my hand down her pants with ease. She get's wet no problem. First time I did that, I actually thought I was rubbing her vagina, and only later realized that the actual opening was much lower than where I was at. I don't think she realized this. Of course, texting got canceled because of her since she sent like 5 copies of the same text and ran up a huge bill unknowingly.

So it was a big learning experience for me the whole way. I even told her I was a virgin, that I was learning with her, and joked around about her teaching me and stuff. She lives 30 min away and strict parents because they found out she had sex at a party. It's not a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship and she has other guys. I'm not needy so we just have fun and that's all. She used to text me "hey sexy" every morning and I honestly was not used to being called sexy by girls until then.

After that things only got crazier. Besides her having some sort of biting fetish (she bit my neck during one session and I had to put a stop to it so there wouldn't be any marks), I got closer with another, asian girly. These girls are not what I would consider to be gorgeous, but they are cute, and I feel attracted enough to them, where as before I was not getting any girls period, or only insecure/fat ones (when I say get, I mean attraction from...if I can even call it that). So I have kissed the other girl too on an occassion. When we all have the same lunch period they literally wait outside the particular bathroom I go to after class for me.

On my other lunch period, I couldn't find a seat one day with my buddy, so we randomly sat next to some girls. Some of them were also cute. Now, we sit there all the time and we are all close buddies and I can tell at least several girls I could make out with. I kissed one of them at an anime-club party last friday, and another just basically get physical with all lunch. I play with her hands, grope her ass, pull her in close, sit her on my lap at contextually opportune moments. She absolutely doesn't offer any resistance. Short red hair that covers her right eye. Because I know to look in that eye for emotional effect, I make it a point to sometimes brush her hair out of her eye and just gaze

Another friend, similar story. At anime club party though, I really began to realize what was happening when pretty much every girl there (even though they weren't all that hot) were getting physical with me and I did the same with them. I grabbed at least 5 different girls breasts during that entire time. I would wait for a spot to play some Super Smash Bros. Brawl with my buddies, and just go outside and do whatever I wanted. Pin one against a wall and grope her. Grope another. One girl actually literally confessed she was a virgin, stole my prop sword, hat, etc. (I was dressed as a pirate) just to lure me outside and into isolation. These chicks took turns sitting on my lap. One was on my lap in the back of the room away from the rest of the party where it was dark, and this other girl comes up and says to her "You are sooo lucky right now." Although this girl had large, squishy breasts, when I got her against the wall outside playfully she went full on freak. Insta-french kiss. Had to break out and go wash the saliva from my face at the water fountain.

One day before, one of the girls at the lunch table and her pretty cute friend with wonderful boobs were with me for awhile outside, and by the time we all left, we ended up waiting together for our rides behind a concrete wall. Totally blocked off from other people's view. I just sat there and gropped their boobs non-stop the entire time. Kissed one girl, other turned out to be bi and we couldn't really coerce her into kissing me (the first girl was literally convincing her friend to kiss me-wonderful!) I couldn't be assed to really try either lol.

Next day (the day of the party after school) I come into my second class and this black girl I know on the cheerleading team (we go back many years back to middle school as acquaintances, not really too friendly) starts questioning me about what I was doing with my "two girlfriends" outside groping their boobs. I didn't realize there was a window through which she saw it.

Long winded as hell, so I'll stop now. This basically sums it all up. I am not taking groping and kissing as pretty standard, but I still feel as if I am doing something wrong because I have this nagging feeling as if some of these girls are not really into me. But yet they are totally passive to what I do. Maybe I am just not used to this whole thing and cannot trust that it's true. I expect girls to be super happy if they are with someone they like and it just doesn't feel like that with some of them. I also look for dilated pupils as a sign of being turned on and again feel a bit bad when I notice the girl's pupils are not dilated. I know, seems a bit silly but this is the type of stuff I am getting worried about. Probably all in my head.

I want to get more girls in my social circle. Hot ones. At this point I am not really trying for them. I constantly feel as if the dudes who chat with these girls are super cool and approaching them would just make me look creepy.

What should I be doing at this point? Am I going the right way, wrong way?

Forum: Ask Anything

Torrent Site Invites

Toniy — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 18:02:52 GMT

Forgive me if this is treading us into dangerous territory legal-wise....

But I think we could do well in introducing one another to the various private torrent sites that are out there.

Specifically, I have a few key sites in mind:

The Place - Self-Help / Seduction
The Vault - Business
Bitme - Like a Massive library as far as I can tell
Demonoid - Everything Else... more for entertainment than anything (if a little broken at the moment)

Now I believe I have invitations for The Place, The Vault and Demonoid when it's back up and running... but I am looking for an invite for Bitme to tell you the truth

(sneaky fucker, huh?)

I figure rather than everyone clamouring for an invite... if we make a request here in our posts, anyone who fills the request replies, just to let everybody know... you know?

So as to save some poor (or lucky) bastard from receiving however many invites in one go

And if anyone needs a quick guide as to 'torrent', then I'll be glad to write a quick guide here....

Personally I believe that the kind of information found on most of these sites should be free... although I certainly support the support of the authors that give you value... fair's fair.

So... are we game?

Forum: Other Topics

High school-college

EAZy — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 18:00:28 GMT

In your opinion what's the big difference between girls in high school and those in college/uni?

Forum: College/University

The Dog Whisperer

Ivan — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 12:57:59 GMT

I've been watching Cesar Milan's show. While rehabilitating dogs, he actually makes great points about human relationships and love and behavior, both for individuals and groups of people.

A couple of points from a random episode of his show:

About relationships. About not reacting or giving up on friends, loved ones, or even strangers for that matter.

"stay relaxed into you help your pack member. to me that is love."

Difference between true social skills and selective social skills.

"match where they are, and encourage them to go forward"

It's quite astonishing. So simple. No flowery rhetoric and marketing bullshit. I had no idea I'd get so much out of wanting to chill on the couch for half an hour after work. Going to keep watching.

Forum: Other Topics

need some help

guille26 — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 22:24:33 GMT

hi sean

i must say ,you are my hero, now you may be asking your self,why tha f#####? well... you are the first guy in the comunity that seems to be more interested in helping others rather than getting money from them, i have never buyed anthing from the seduction comunity, always downloaded it, but in this case i will send money to you when ever i can ,money should never be a obstacle for happines only by having that filosophy i consider you my frind without even knowing you.(hope some day i have the oportunity of meeting you in your bootcamps)

i have several doubts ,i hope you can guide me in this path.

1 i downloaded in the seduction database your audioclasses they must be more than 40! but im not sure how to use them, they are in alphabetical order, how should i use them, is there an order for them?

i live in mexico(latin girls!!!!) and its good but i suck when it comes to getting the girl,i readed your story in some interview and realised we come from a very different place ,you never had many problems getting  girlfriends ,i have always been terrible at that,in fact its been years since i got a girlfriend or sex for that matter, im 26 ind i realized i had to change my life , im kind of insecure and socialy retarded and have many things against me at the moment,so i found the seduction comunity, and things got worst, there are two main reasons for that ,first there is a lot of material in there ,i dont know what to do, mistery(i dont like it) ,nlp,bradp ,gunwitch,dd, and many many others ,i just got more confused.
second for what i have readed most of this methods wouldnt work in my country ,you know latin women ,pick up lines? jaa ,im not even sure what can work in here, i was getting mad ,hopeless ,but then reading some things from here and there i found an interesting thing ,commonly when walking the street ,no woman watches me ,its funny because im not bad looking ,and considering im blond ,im not very common in this country ,but still nobody pays atention to me, exept when i feel certain vibe(not very often)... i mean im feeling good ,but not only good ,i feel certain wird energy in me ,power ,lust ,satisfaction ,like if i was a much cooler me, then tons of girls pay atention without me even trying, i thought about that ,how could i feel that ,any time i wanted and then it hit me ,that must be a good inner game!!! so my next question will be divided in three

2.1  searching in the database i have found many guys saying they can develop your inner game to levels you can not immagine (hypntica ,ross ,vitalio,and others) do you have any experience with them ,is hypnotica good? some recomend meditation ,that only that is necesary to get that inner power im looking for.
what do you think about it?(you recomend umaa tantra but i dont understand the book,still working on it,and i definetly cant buy the dvds at this point of life
who do you recomend?(that i can download, dont worry if it works i will pay them the money of the product, i have morals)

2.2   for what i understand one of the guys you admire is david deida ,but is it good to read him now? i mean he seems to give sexual advice ,but i dont get laid at all ,so what would be the point of reading him now? or does he have exercises i can use to get that energy i was talking to you about?

2.3 if i get a hold of that feeling and power i descrived earlier via inner game training ,i would have 99% of the problems solved, i wouldnt need pick up lines, just get my ass over there be my self and speak to that hot beautiful woman ,i do that right now but i guess they sense my insecurity and send me to hell.
well ,is there any recomendation you could give me ,that i didnt mention in my questions ,something i forgot?

Oh by the by how can get acces to ucp members area?

thanks and hasta la vista

Forum: Ask Anything

What's your advice in my situation?

James — Fri, 30 Oct 2009 18:15:24 GMT

My situation:

- Last year, high school - Definetly not going well (much absence).

- Don't have the best "identity" in class and those who are in the same grade. I've changed a lot since though.

- I feel some other girls from lower grades dig me. I caught many looking at me.

- Never had some sexual experience with the opposite sex. (maybe I'm just too afraid?)

- Feeling confident, because I'm grounded most of the time and I've worked out in almost 5 years, so my body the girls would like .

- Still practicing stuff I like and it's the best thing I've done for myself ever. It keeps me focused so I don't get too many mood swings.

- I like myself, very much. I think I'm too kind sometimes though.

- Don't have many close friends, only 2.

- My social-circle isn't good (if I have any lol).

- I got a/half, year left in HS.

- Have a very good relationship with my mom, not so good with my father, but most of the time I try to understand him.

A little about me

I'm 18, I Love my hobbies, maybe some of them is waste of time and I'm thinking of erase those who doesn't give to my life, but only takes time from my life.

I love watching celebs like Brad Pitt, George Clooney, Johnny Depp, Hugh Hefner, Jackie Chan, Ryan Reynolds.

I want to travel the world some day.

All the best,
James

Forum: High School