Toniy
Guide on the Path...
Registered: 08/08/08
Posts: 1,241
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Reply with quote | #1 |
Seriously... 
You may or may not know that Sean is running a competition this week to see who can get the most interest for their online profiles.
Now he's a great man, I love him to bits... but I want to beat him  Bad.
There's nothing in the rules that prevents me asking, so your consciences can remain virtuous and clear
So I was hoping that you gorgeous, intelligent and charming ladies would take a look at my profile and give me your thoughts...
http://www.plentyoffish.com/member11344593.htm
I'll be indebted to you always if we can bring home the big prize!!
Thanks sincerely, in advance x
(p.s. Be kind... the pictures really are me...)
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Toniy
Guide on the Path...
Registered: 08/08/08
Posts: 1,241
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Reply with quote | #2 |
And I don't want to lead you on under false pretence, either...
So here are the facts of my profile:
Everything in the profile is true, except for the following: The Testimonial is from a profile I created for a previous lesson (anything goes in this competition...) I don't live in the Portsmouth, New Hampshire... I actually live in Guildford, UK (formerly Portsmouth incidentally)... but I thought it would give me a wider audience
Alright, so that's my cards on the table
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PianoMan
Guide on the Path...
Registered: 11/08/07
Posts: 503
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Reply with quote | #3 |
Though I'm not a lady... I had a few
thoughts for you:
It's too long. You're telling too much
up front.
While the "stoopid" joke is ok... it's
coming across as trying too hard. (read
as 'next!')
Lose the picture with no shirt.
They simply don't have time to read a
novel. (Reverse it - do you have that
much time?)
If you're really active - why do you
have enough time to write so much?
You've set yourself up saying one thing
and delivered proof it's not quite true.
I could give you more... but I'm not
where I can see the whole profile
easily... and my mind wandered somewhere
in the second section...
-Dan
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Toniy
Guide on the Path...
Registered: 08/08/08
Posts: 1,241
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Reply with quote | #4 |
Huh... well, any advice is appreciated
The length is something that I was a little concerned about... but I enjoy writing. I enjoy writing so once I get into the flow, it takes a while to stop. Usually several paragraphs too late 
The stoopid joke, I can probably cut out without missing it too much.
I had to think about which one was the one with no shirt on... THEN I remembered it's the monochrome ones... but there aren't any nips Personally I didn't think I was showing enough body (not even chest hair!) to be out of taste, and I didn't fancy having 4 in a vest
Also I took it when I just didn't happen to be wearing clothes Wasn't on purpose.
I don't read novel profiles though, fair point.
I'm not sure the 'active vs. massive profile' is a valid point though (said with all respect)... anyone can take an hour out to put a profile together, surely? One easy weekend, spend an hour or so making a profile before hitting the gym? (which is what I actually... did )
Again, thanks for the pointers.
I have a feeling I should move this to the Bootcamp section now though 
p.s. I think you'd make a pretty lady
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Cameron
Guide on the Path...
Registered: 11/24/07
Posts: 1,139
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Reply with quote | #5 |
Toniy, whats the point of asking for advice and then not taking it?
__________________
Words give us a protective facade and it costs very little make them ours. Action costs a lot more, maybe because the reward is a hidden one to begin with, and in the end it's the only indication of who you truly are. |
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Matt
Moderator
Registered: 10/27/07
Posts: 1,241
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Reply with quote | #6 |
Cam,
people aren't 'required' to take advice simply because they ask for it, 
If you ask, you damn well better listen. But you don't have to take it...that's why its ADVISE...
__________________
Work like you do not need the money, love like you never been hurt before and dance...like nobody is watching! - Liliana Graham
(\_ _/)
(='.'=)
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Toniy
Guide on the Path...
Registered: 08/08/08
Posts: 1,241
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Toniy
Guide on the Path...
Registered: 08/08/08
Posts: 1,241
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Reply with quote | #8 |
OH!
And if it's because I said that I think Dan would make a pretty lady, that wasn't an insult.
That's because he showed kindness, self-assurance, intelligence, perception, honesty and a little bit of dreaminess in his post, all of which contribute to my idea of a hot girl
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unforgetable
Sherpa
Registered: 02/02/09
Posts: 76
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Reply with quote | #9 |
i'm on freedating.co.uk
and i get like 130views + per week and over 200 mails, and i'v got like 8-10 woman who wanna meet up
what is this about a who can get most view changle i feel i kick ass at online and would love to join in!!
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Toniy
Guide on the Path...
Registered: 08/08/08
Posts: 1,241
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Reply with quote | #10 |
Get on the UCP then buddy
7 Day free trial and about 4 days left of the competition.
You could win...
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Cameron
Guide on the Path...
Registered: 11/24/07
Posts: 1,139
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Reply with quote | #11 |
Never mind Toniy, I apologize for my comment, it was unhelpful, all the best.
__________________
Words give us a protective facade and it costs very little make them ours. Action costs a lot more, maybe because the reward is a hidden one to begin with, and in the end it's the only indication of who you truly are. |
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Toniy
Guide on the Path...
Registered: 08/08/08
Posts: 1,241
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Reply with quote | #12 |
No need to apologise Cam buddy But very much appreciated, all the same.
Right so... where were we.... ?
Ahh yeah... I'm going to re-write my profile as if I were on acid
This thread needs some Estrogen...
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Toniy
Guide on the Path...
Registered: 08/08/08
Posts: 1,241
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Reply with quote | #13 |
Girls, if you DO happen to view the profile before the competition is over..... I changed it. A lot.
Uhhh... that's really all I can say
But your thoughts are still entirely welcome
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TB
Sherpa
Registered: 11/07/07
Posts: 56
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