Kevin2008
Guide on the Path...
Registered: 12/14/08
Posts: 279
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Reply with quote | #1 |
Hi Sean,
First of all thanks in advance for taking the time to read my post.
I am 42 year old good looking guy who has had very little
sexual and relationship experience when it comes to women. In fact i do feel insecure because i have had such little
sexual experience. My experience i am ashamed to say is a couple
of girls years ago when i was totally fueled on whisky that i met
in some club and couldnt even get it up properly and hookers.
I have done 3 workshop dont have problems approaching girls,
being flirty and vibing with them. Ultimately like every man i want an attractive woman who is
half my age. Now the problem i have is the last 3 girls i dated
the chemistry or sparks seemed to have died. 1. First girl i met on the street very attractive well educated
we organised to meet things seem to go well then on the day 3
she told me we had so much in common but she only wanted me
as a friend.(we are still in contact though) 2. Second girl same thing happened end up being her friend (she didnt want to stay in contact) 3. Third girl decided to try being more sexual with her we held hands
lots of kino, i tried to kiss her but she said no so i left it. She sms'd later and told me that she had a boyfriend and it was
better we become friends as her boyfriend would get upset. This
was fair enough. Now i admit i felt very needy with the first two girls and this might
have shown in my vibe. The third girl i just sexually escalated and
this pushed her away. Its alittle confusing to me as where to a strike
a balance.
Girls tellme i am charming but i mean where is it getting me ? nowhere ?
I have met guys with very attractive girlfriends who dont come across as "cool or charming" yet the girl for some reason is attached them
Now yesterday i bumped into a girl i had cold approached 4 months ago.
She was very happy to see me (back then she was reluctant to give me her
number as so she said so many men had lied to her in the past). This time
round she gave me her number and said we should meet soon.
Now i am tired of fucking up and want a clear direction from you.
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Kevin2008
Guide on the Path...
Registered: 12/14/08
Posts: 279
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Reply with quote | #2 |
Sean i just wanted to add that i did have alot of anger issues which i have just about sorted. I remember a post you replied to in the forum asking what does it take to be a real man you replied "confident and assertive" can you possibly elaborate on this as stupid as this question might seem.
thks
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seanmessenger
Guide on the Path...
Registered: 10/27/07
Posts: 4,155
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Reply with quote | #3 |
Quote: Ultimately like every man i want an attractive woman who is
half my age.
whoa, cowboy. that's an issue right there. i'm as guilty as anyone of dating inappropriately younger women, but that's not a good thing. you should be looking for women that you get along with, have things in common with, and can feel comfortable with.
i get the feeling your anger motivates you to try to "get" girls that you somehow feel you're not supposed to get. you're trying to make up for lost time and prove something to someone. when's the last time you met a woman and just hung out and got to know her as friends, for real, with no agenda? i think you should try it.
and part of assertiveness is learning to let go of anger. anger only destroys.
__________________
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Be your best,
Sean Messenger, lvo3.com
http://lvo3.com
"Love is the answer and you know that for sure."
- John Lennon |
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Kevin2008
Guide on the Path...
Registered: 12/14/08
Posts: 279
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Reply with quote | #4 |
Sean you said hangout with the girls with no agenda. I am alittle confused here i mean surely i need to escalate to become her lover ?.
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seanmessenger
Guide on the Path...
Registered: 10/27/07
Posts: 4,155
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Reply with quote | #5 |
I'm on another trip here.
I'm guessing you've never had a close female friend. I mean a female friend you weren't actively trying to seduce who you could talk to and trust. I may be wrong, but I think it's worth looking into, because I get the feeling you really do not trust women. You hold back and you don't take yourself seriously becuase you are waiting for women to not just reject you, but ridicule you and make you feel worthless. That's why you only pursue girls that you have nothing in common with (totally different age, background and culture). I've done the same. Lord, have I done the same. And there's no way to fix this without changing things up...
You need women in your life, but there's no reason that woman has to be a sexual object all the time. In fact, you need the emotional support of a non-family woman waaaaaaaay more than you need the sex. See, we can take care of our own needs sexually (and should, absolutely. wanna get great at sex with a partner? practice it like you'd like to make love by yourself and really learn how much pleasure you can feel WITHOUT shame).
start meeting women that you have things in common with, and things you can talk about WITHOUT wanting to seduce them. doesn't matter if you find her attractive or not. you have to learn how to be with a woman without jumping her in order for women to want to be with you and jump you.
ironic, innit?
when you get that comfort level with women, THEN you make a move. but if you are uncomfortable with being around her, no move will ever work, cos it will just creep her out. if you want to work with dangerous animals, you learn about them, get comformtable being around them, and then, and only then, do you try to get them to do things you want.
in that order. and yes, women are the most dangerous animal of all.
__________________
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Be your best,
Sean Messenger, lvo3.com
http://lvo3.com
"Love is the answer and you know that for sure."
- John Lennon |
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Kevin2008
Guide on the Path...
Registered: 12/14/08
Posts: 279
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Reply with quote | #6 |
Sean your spot on i dont have a close female friend.So this somthing I will work on over the next few months. One of the girls i cold approached has become a friend to me we do meet up once a month and chat over dinner or coffee. I am going to be alittle more open to her.
Tellme the community told me that you should never take a womans advice ? when it comes to dating, relationships. What are your opinions on this ?
I wasnt clear on what you meant when you said practising making love to yourself ? are you talking about masturbation ?
Thanks again mate.
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seanmessenger
Guide on the Path...
Registered: 10/27/07
Posts: 4,155
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Reply with quote | #7 |
I'll give you a little challenge. I KNOW you've gone all in on trying to get this stuff handled. I know you worked hard and listened to what the best of the best in the community had to say. Not that they are wrong, but... given that you are unsatisfied with where you are at now, try this.
For the next 2 months, don't look to the community for ANYTHING. No information. No message boards. No products. Let all of it go, and when old community ideas pop up, ask yourself first if they make sense.
You've got nothing to lose. I'll guide you for those two months, and I guarantee after PSP you will see a change in your life that makes you wonder what you were thinking before.
Start by practicing listening to women. You know how to talk. Yes, you do. But it's HARD to listen. It's HARD to ask questions. It's hard to pay attention. So make it a project to become good friends with a woman, and learn what's cool about her. Community philosophy is based entirely in fear and power-plays, and is a sure way to make sure you never have any real friends.
As for the sex, yes, just try this out. When you masturbate. make it like you'd like to be making love. Take your time. Enjoy it. Fantasize about what you'd like to do to your ideal lover and what you'd like her to do to you. Think of it as practice for the real game instead of an "obligation."
__________________
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Be your best,
Sean Messenger, lvo3.com
http://lvo3.com
"Love is the answer and you know that for sure."
- John Lennon |
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Kevin2008
Guide on the Path...
Registered: 12/14/08
Posts: 279
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Reply with quote | #8 |
Sean i accept this challenge. No more community, no more message boards no products. Will focus on listening to women over the next couple of months.
Thanks again.
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